Pharaoh
by lucidscreamer
Summary: Not every game holds the fate of the world at stake. Sometimes, it's just pyramids, pyromaniac pixel people, and dancing hippos. Challenge fic: Yami and the word 'tutu.'


Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! is the creation of Kazuki Takahashi. The game "Pharaoh" is the property of Sierra Games. All rights remain the property of the legal copyright holders.

Challenge: Yami and a tutu

Pharaoh

by Lucidscreamer

Yugi was beginning to think it had been a mistake to teach Yami how to use the computer. He was certain it had been a mistake to introduce him to the city-building game "Pharaoh."

"Argh!" Yami was hunched over the keyboard, glowering at the computer screen with narrowed violet eyes. "Stupid peasants! Stop trying to burn down my city, and get back to work building my pyramid! Stupid, fire-obsessed ingrates..."

Yugi rolled his eyes. "Problems, Pharaoh?"

"If they're not robbing my tax collectors, they're setting each other's houses on fire! They managed to set _the festival square_ on fire, and that's not even supposed to be flammable!" Yami groused, busily clicking the mouse. "My city always needs more workers, usually because the ones I have are too stupid not to walk into the open maw of an ill-tempered hippo, and one of my delivery men has decided to get stuck in the middle of the Nile instead of delivering gold to the palace like he's supposed to! And he's not even on a boat!"

Yami growled, studied something on the screen for a moment, then growled, again. "Why isn't there a 'smite' command on this stupid game!"

Yugi blinked. He'd never heard Yami use the word "stupid" that many times in a row. The Pharaoh was obviously getting a bit stressed out, which was not the goal Yugi had had in mind when he'd shown Yami the game in the first place. What could he do to help...?

Remembering something from when he had first played the game, Yugi suddenly smiled. He leaned over Yami's shoulder. "Let me see the keyboard for a second."

"Why?" Yami eyed him suspiciously. "You're not going to start giving them extra stuff like last time, are you?"

It was Yami's considered opinion that Yugi was simply too nice to the little pixel people. If they didn't do what was expected of them, why should he give them luxury goods and beer? Especially since they usually managed to set the brewery aflame shortly afterward...

Another eye roll. "No, Yami. Give me the keyboard." Yugi grinned. "Trust me."

The one appeal Yami couldn't resist. Not from his partner. Reluctantly, he handed over the requested device. A few keystrokes later, Yugi had enabled the cheats and entered the words "Side Show."

"Watch," he said, and hit enter.

On the computer screen, the tiny animated hippos that had been grazing in the reed marshes (or wandering about the city, wantonly killing an odd peasant or three -- hopefully before said peasant could indulge in a bit of recreational pyromania), suddenly stood up on their hind legs. Each hippo acquired a bright pink tutu... and began to dance.

Yami watched, wide-eyed and gaping, as the hippos in their tutus pirouetted merrily about the marshes, oversized heads bobbing in time to the background music. His partner watched him expectantly... as Yami began to laugh. It wasn't a restrained snort or a dignified chuckle, either. Yami snickered. Then guffawed -- and kept laughing until tears were streaming down his cheeks and his sides ached.

It was a couple of minutes before Yami regained control of himself. Still chuckling, he shared a grin with Yugi.

"Thanks, partner," he murmured, relaxing in his chair and still grinning madly. (If the pixel people had been real, they would have run away in fear -- or possibly set fire to something.) Yami snickered again at the silly thought, enjoying the sudden lack of tension across his shoulders. He had needed the reminder that it was just a game -- and a game that was supposed to be _fun_, not one of life and death and the fate of the world.

Reading the unspoken thought as easily as if Yami had spoken it aloud, Yugi smiled. "Anytime."

Then the grin turned cheeky. "Now, want me to show you how to make 'em 'smite' the 'ingrates,' O mighty Pharaoh?"

Yami smirked. He'd make a decent pharaoh out of Yugi, yet.

* * *

Author's Note: Since several people have asked, I thought I'd add this to say that, yes, the cheat Yugi uses in this story is real. And it really does make dancing, tutu-wearing hippos appear (if your city has hippos available). For a complete list of cheats, try the website "pharaoh. heavengames. com." (Remove spaces and add http.) 


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